It's been said, that long distance relationships do not work. That view may be changing though, due to the rise of instant messengers and social networking sites, such as Facebook and MySpace.
I feel that I, more than most, can comment on this as I've had both good and bad long distance relationships. A lot depends on how you both feel, whether you are both willing to make the extra effort needed...
My current relationship started online. On occasion, usually late at night when I'm bored and am finding any excuse not to sleep, I frequent a chat site - lovingly referred to by it's users as shit-web. I would usually just sit there, offering random shards of wisdom and watching the roleplayers fight in their Final Fantasy kind of way! But I got talking to a girl who was already in a long distance relationship with a bloke she'd only ever met online. Her screenname I forget (she uses Phee mostly these days) and her name, as most of you know, is Sophie.
After a few months of sporadic chats, we exchanged MSN addresses and talked to each other on an almost daily basis. We would talk about how our days had been, what we enjoyed doing and, increasingly other more intimate subjects. This lead to the exchanging of mobile phone numbers and our daily instant messages became daily (nightly) phone calls. You can get to know someone fairly well without having met them... if they're being honest.
There is a growing trend on news sites and bulletins on TV whereby they constantly warn of the hazards of chat rooms and other internet based services. True, people must be vigilant as there are some strange people out there and bad things DO happen. But you never hear about the good things that can happen if done in a safe manner.
Just before the winter holidays, Sophie came down to Devon (from her home in a village just outside Hull) to stay with me for christmas. A lot of people thought it was strange/dangerous and, to an extent, there was an amount of risk attached to it. But it was worth it.
Since then we have spent six of the nine months we've been together with no less than 100 miles between us, as she has now started a university course in Surrey. Yet our relationship is far stronger than most others I know. We both love each other a great deal. We make sure the time we do spend together is spent wisely, doing things we both enjoy. We appreciate each other more!
So yes... they can work and they are becoming more common. With more and more of our lives being lived online, soon it'll be the only way to have a relationship!
4 comments:
They do work. Most of the relationships I know have failed, and the people involved go to the same school or live in the same street. Which might be the source of the problem....
Xx
I think they do work as long as you are willing to put in the time to see one another when you can and as long as you communicate as much as possible. I think there is an advantage of being in a long distance relationship in the fact that you have so little time together that you miss them so much more which means you appreciate them more when you get to see them.
I, like yourself, have had good and bad experiences with them. I think anyone who chooses to go with that relationship style goes through a similar sort of thing.
I love meeting people online. Generally because when you meet someone online, you're pretty much guaranteed to have at least one thing in common with each other.
I met my ex, Meeka, in World of Warcraft, which was quite an unlikely place to meet someone I shared so much with, yet when you think about it, it's a very likely place to meet such a person as well.
When people have a computer hiding them from the people they are communicating with, I think that they don't have anything to be afraid of. After all, you're just pixels on a screen. They don't have to lie to get your attention or make you think highly of them, in most cases, and in a lot of ways I think that works very well.
came by way of darfuria....i met someone through a chatroom. do they work? well, we've been married 3 years now :)
ldr's (as their known in the chatworld) take a lot of commitment and trust. without those, then that's how it will fail
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