It's a Mo, Jim, but not as we know it!

The handlebar is going fairly well, with a mere two weeks to go!  Unfortunately, I just can't get it bushy enough for my liking!

Wulfy Loves Gargoyle Tears.

And, oh they'll be a flowing tonight!

I write this shortly after my beloved Exeter City have beaten their fiercest rivals, Plymouth Arygle, 2-1 at their own ground.  Yeah, it's only the Johnstone's Paint Trophy.  It's a cup we're still in after Saturday's F.A. Cup first round match at Bury, but it comes way below League One survival in terms of importance.  But this is Argyle.  Or Gargoyle, as most of us call them.

The Pride of Devon: Officially EXETER CITY.

This is a rivalry just as fierce as a Manchester derby (like the one tomorrow!).  Just as fierce as the Scouse derby.  And ranks pretty darn close to the Old Firm derby (which does have the added religious spice to it).  There is almost always violence following the matches and reports indicate there's an amount of it tonight.

I remember my first, and as yet, only proper Devon derby.  Just about.  It was an awful long time ago and the result was not a good one (the actual result I've blocked from my mind) so the walk past the rows and rows of smiling Argyle fans shouting shit was unbearable!  Too much for my Mum, who threatened to take them all on.  All five hundred of them, against one of her!  Well, four of us...!  Just an intense atmosphere all round.

Grecian the Lion and Pilgrim Pete... not the best of friends!

It's been eight years since the last derby match.  Well, that actually counts.  And although it was kind of put to one side, although never forgotten, the fact that Argyle were relegated last season couple with City's last match save from relegation themselves meant they found in each in the same division at long last!  But when the JP Trophy draw through us together, it went up a notch... three derbies in one season.

Well... one of them down, and it's a 100% record for this season and City now edge in front W20-D19-L19 overall, according to a local historian.  11th December is the next match, again at Home Park.  When hopefully we'll do it again...!  Chin up, ya janners!!

And We're Off! The Mo is GO!

This year's MOvember has begun.  I will upload a picture when I have some meaningful growth, but tonight I shall share with you the options!  And this is where you can help (and I find out how many people actually read my ditherings!)...

On a post-it note I doodled some possible beards to grow ranging from the sublime to the ridiculous.  The latter will clearly be the more popular!  But instead of just uploading a mobile phone photographed crude yellow drawing, I turned them into superbly crafted digital master pieces!  I love Paint...

Before you choose from the awesome facial growth designs, you should see how my hair looks naturally.  I have to admit it is a pretty good likeness!  I have been growing my sideburns for a number of weeks now, and these will not be going during MOvember at all, thus the base face includes these!  My usual clean shaven self has been proven in the past the make me look younger than my thirty-odd years.  Beards and MOs will age me!

So on to the MOs!

First up is Le Francais.  This has been inspired by Poirot and almost every French waiter in the world.  As much as I hate to look like the proverbial garlic muncher, it would be an amusing MO to go for.  The challenge is in growing enough on the sides on the mouth to wax and turn upwards!  I shall then don Phee's beret and buy some onions to hang from my mountain bike!  It has a flat tyre, but the look will still work I'm sure.
I didn't even mention the phrase cheese eating surrender monkey in all that.  Oh.  Damnit...

Next is the Cornell.  Some of you may wonder what the hell I am going on about here, so let me enlighten you.  Chris Cornell is the lead singer of Soundgarden and Audioslave.  Phee told me the other day he was pretty hot.  So of course I've been sporting a beard like his ever since.  But to finish the look I need the MO to go with it.  The rockstar wannabe in me likes this look!

MOs and beards named after people.  One other famous one for you to consider is the Brent.  Not Spiner (Data from Star Trek), but David Brent from The Office - as played by Ricky Gervais.  I do work in an office, granted, but I would like to think I'm not such a tactless, awkward imbecile as he is!  This style was originally to be called the "Dad", as my old man used to sport one of these before he decided to go bare-lipped.  And thus, it had to be re-named.  Still, apt for an accountant.

The next two are the comedy beards.  I'm expecting one of them to win.  First up, we have the Porno.  Yes, you guessed it, it's a big bushy caterpillar on my top lip, with not much else.  In particular I'm thinking 70s porno-chic MOs, as made famous by John Holmes and the legend that is Ron Jeremy (be warned, those links are best not viewed at work).  Big Ron's MO is just quality... in fact the only non-porn actor who is up there with it is Tom Selleck.  But "Porno" sounds better than "Selleck"... haha!

The second funny one, is the Cowboy!  Yes, we're talking full-on handlebar MO goodness - as seen on Amazon!  Curving round my top lip and down the chin as far as it'll grow!  The downside to this is that I may get hit on by more forty year old blokes, but it's a good cause so I'll take one for the team.  Not literally, you understand.  I will, inevitably, have to buy a check shirt though and put on a deep southern US accent to get into character... and camp it up.  And start shooting like Yosemite Sam!

Aaaaaand finally... the Full On.  This ain't just a MO.  It's basically an unruly facial mess.  MO, beard, bit of cheek stubble.  An excuse not to shave at all for a month.  Although I do reserve the right to shave my neck!  It makes me look slightly fatter if I have a hairy neck!  Oh, and I might get the sack...
In fact, I'll probably go with this in the early stages to see how the MO is going!


After you have decided on which is best, please do comment below and let me know you thoughts.  It can be anonymous if you prefer.  But then, why would you want to be?!  The winning MO with the most votes will be the one I sport for the final week of MOvember.  A whole week!

Please use the blog to comment.  It make me look popular and it's easier to collate the answers in one place!  Yes, I know a a lot of you read the posts on Facebook or get it delievered to your email inbox, but make some effort and go to the blog itself.  I will reward you with MO-glory!!